Supporting Teenagers and Adult Children With Money: Intentional Strategies for Parents
Parenting doesn’t end when your children reach adulthood, it simply shifts to a new set of financial and emotional choices. In our financial life planning work, we’ve seen parents extend generosity in every form: monthly support, career-boosting education, milestone gifts, and shared travel experiences. We’ve also seen the strain that comes when giving has no boundaries. These patterns have taught us that the question isn’t just how much to give, but how to give with intention.
These choices don’t come with a rulebook. As journalist Ron Lieber reminds us in his book The Opposite of Spoiled, family money decisions are never just about dollars and cents. They’re about values, independence, and how we prepare our children for a life of their own.
Recent reporting from The Wall Street Journal on the “price of parenting” echoes what we’ve witnessed with clients: parents today are stretched between wanting to provide every opportunity and needing to protect their own financial security. Some continue giving well into adulthood; others draw the line at graduation. Both approaches come from love. The challenge is finding a middle ground that reflects your values and preserves your family’s future.
When Does Financial Responsibility End?
When I was growing up in the 80s and 90s, the expectation among most in my community was clear: once you finished high school - or at the latest, college - you were financially on your own. Support might show up as a graduation gift or help moving into a first apartment, but it wasn’t something to count on.
Today, we see a very different landscape in our work with families. Heavy student loan burdens, rising housing costs, and uncertain job markets mean many young adults rely on their parents for longer and in more significant ways than past generations. What was once considered a short transition period has, for many families, stretched into years of ongoing support.
The WSJ points out that this extended dependence is reshaping household budgets and retirement timelines. The key is to be deliberate. If you’re ready to transition responsibility, frame it as a vote of confidence in your child’s independence. Be transparent about what support is ending and why.
For parents who choose to continue providing, the key question becomes sustainability. Covering health insurance or rent for a defined period - or until a child reaches a milestone like full-time employment - offers both structure and compassion. Instead of dictating their path, we’ve found that setting clear parameters empowers adult children to step into independence with confidence.
Support in Adulthood: Help or Hindrance?
Offering financial help to adult children is not inherently harmful. In fact, during life transitions - a layoff, graduate school, or an unexpected medical bill - your support may be the bridge that keeps them afloat. But ongoing, undefined help can erode both your finances and your relationship.
In his book, Lieber encourages parents to interrogate the “why” behind their giving. Are you helping because it aligns with your values, or because you feel guilty or pressured? Support becomes most meaningful when it’s tied to specific goals:
Education or training that increases future earning power.
A one-time gift for a down payment or milestone.
Temporary assistance in true emergencies.
We’ve encountered many family situations where culture plays a defining role in financial support. For some, extending help well into adulthood is a point of pride and an expression of family values. For others, fostering independence as early as possible is seen as the greatest gift a parent can give. Neither approach is wrong. What matters most is bringing clarity and intention to your choices so that support strengthens relationships rather than creating misunderstanding or resentment.
Cash Gifts: Freedom or Trap?
Cash is flexible, but it can also become fraught. A steady stream of checks may unintentionally delay independence or create expectations.
Structured giving can be a middle ground. You might:
Offer a lump sum earmarked for debt repayment.
Match savings contributions to encourage good habits.
Provide holiday or birthday gifts that are celebratory, not ongoing.
In our work with families, we’ve seen parents give more than they ever expected. Oftentimes, it’s because a child asked and it felt impossible to say no. Over time, generosity can morph into obligation if expectations aren’t clear. Setting parameters preserves the spirit of giving while protecting both your finances and your relationships. (The Wall Street Journal’s recent series on the “price of parenting” highlights this same trend nationwide.)
Experiences Over Things: Why Travel Still Matters
Lieber’s research highlights that one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is not money, but perspective. Travel, whether it’s a family trip or support for solo exploration, can expand horizons in ways that cash cannot.
When gifting travel, be intentional. Decide what you’ll cover (flights, lodging, or experiences) and what your child will budget for. Use the opportunity to teach planning, saving, and finding value in experiences rather than material goods.
For parents who fear that stepping back financially means stepping back emotionally, travel can be a way to invest in relationships without creating financial dependence.
Communicating Boundaries with Empathy
Whether you’re continuing to provide or stepping back, communication is everything. Share your philosophy on financial independence. Explain the reasoning behind your choices. Most importantly, listen. Adult children may feel conflicted about accepting help, or they may not realize the strain their needs create.
When parents anchor their choices in values, the meaning of the gift often shifts. A graduation trip, for instance, becomes more than a vacation. It’s a way of honoring years of effort, creating memories together, and marking the transition into independence in a joyful way.
Giving with Intention
Spending money on teenage or adult children is less about dollar amounts and more about meaning. Every financial choice is an opportunity to teach, to model values, and to strengthen your relationship.
As the WSJ series reminds us, the price of parenting today is higher and more complex than ever. But with clear boundaries, empathy, and a focus on intention, your money can do more than pay bills. It can empower your children to build independent, purposeful lives while creating shared memories along the way.
Follow our Instagram for personal finance tips and inspiration.
Stephanie Bucko and Cristina Livadary are fee-only financial planners based in Los Angeles, California. Stephanie is the Chief Investment Officer and Cristina is the Chief Executive Officer at Mana Financial Life Design (FLD). Mana FLD provides comprehensive financial planning and investment management services to help clients grow and protect their wealth throughout life’s journey. Mana FLD specializes in advising ambitious professionals who seek financial knowledge and want to implement creative budgeting, savings, proactive planning and powerful investment strategies. As fee-only fiduciaries and independent financial advisors, Stephanie and Cristina never receive commission of any kind. Stephanie and Cristina are legally bound by their certifications to provide unbiased and trustworthy financial advice.