How to Have a Money Date (That You’ll Actually Look Forward To)
At a high level, money dates are a key practice in financially healthy relationships. A money date is a planned conversation between partners, or even a check in with yourself, where you sit down to reflect, discuss and learn about financial habits, plans and desires. This conversation can include reviewing budgets, discussing financial goals, talking about spending habits, planning investments, or addressing money-related concerns in the relationship. At Mana, we think about the process of planning and continuing money dates in a deeper way. This post is meant to help our readers understand more about our version of money dates, and to help you bring the practice into your own life.
Most people treat money the same way they treat their inbox on a Sunday night. Ignore it until it explodes. But what if checking in on your finances didn’t feel like a shame spiral or a spreadsheet slog?
What if it felt intentional?
Like lighting a candle, pouring a glass of wine, and sitting down to reconnect. With yourself or with your partner. That's how we at Mana think about money dates.
This isn't just another budgeting hack. It's a ritual. One that blends reflection, strategy, and a bit of ceremony. It’s less about receipts and more about aligning your life with what really matters to you.
Here’s how to make it happen in a way that actually sticks.
Step 1: Pick Your Time and Protect It
Choosing the right time for a money date is incredibly important. Reflect on when might be best for both you and your partner. Some people swear by Sunday resets. Others find their rhythm early Saturday morning with coffee in hand. The key is to find a time during your week when you can be present and reflective.
Choose a consistent time when distractions are low and energy is calm. For many, that’s early morning on the weekend. For others, it’s a quiet weeknight that rarely gets booked.
Put it on your calendar. Make it a non-negotiable. This small habit becomes a powerful way to check in with yourself and your goals.
Step 2: Cap It at 30 Minutes
This step may surprise some of you, but money conversations don’t need to be long to be impactful! In fact, keeping them short can help make them more approachable.
A common blocker to scheduling a money date, or even discussing finances at all, is the fear that the conversation will spiral into a lengthy and stressful discussion or argument. If you’re doing this with a partner and one of you tends to avoid money topics, a time-boxed 30-minute check-in can feel much less intimidating. It’s just enough time to reflect, adjust, and plan. In my own relationship, 30 minutes has become the magic number. We leave those sessions feeling grounded, not drained.
Shorter, more frequent dates help build momentum without burnout.
Step 3: Prep Ahead of Time
Crucially, a money date is not the right time to sort through receipts or categorize transactions (remember, it should only be about 30 minutes). That part should already be done before you sit down.
Whether you use Mana’s tool or another system, the organizing can happen on your own and before the date starts. This keeps the actual conversation focused on things that matter. Reflection, clarity, visioning, decision-making.
Think of this like preparing ingredients before cooking. When the mise en place prepwork is done, the experience is smoother and more efficient, allowing you space to savor the process.
Step 4: Use These Simple Checkpoints
Here’s a gentle structure to guide your money date conversation:
What money came in this week or month
What money went out, especially in your key spending, saving and investing categories
How you’re tracking toward your goals or targets
What significant expenses or life events are coming up
Where you may have overspent or drifted from your plan
What small adjustments you can make moving forward– both on a shorter timeline (like what you will do differently next week), and longer one
FYI - we often see clients go over budget in areas like restaurants or entertainment. That’s normal. The point of these dates is not to judge one another, but instead to notice, acknowledge and make conscious choices about what to do next.
Step 5: Make It Feel Good
Create an atmosphere that helps you relax. This isn’t a staff meeting. It’s a moment of connection.
What helps set an intimate, focused mood in your partnership or life? Maybe you light a candle, pour your favorite drink, turn on some music, and/or sit somewhere cozy. Let this feel like something you want to do, not something you have to do.
The ritual matters. When you pair money conversations with comfort and care, they become something to look forward to instead of something to avoid.
Why This Works
Money dates help shift your relationship with money from reactive to intentional. Instead of only tuning in when there’s a problem, you build a practice of checking in often. This gentle, steady engagement brings more trust, intimacy and growth to your entire wealth-building path.
That creates a feeling of confidence. With yourself. With your partner. With your future.
It makes every twist and turn of your financial life into a conversation, not a crisis.
Final Thought
The money date is a small weekly ritual with the power to transform the way you live and spend. Start simple. Keep it short. Be consistent.
Light the candle. Pour the drink. Start the conversation.
Because when you check in with your money, you’re really checking in with yourself.
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Stephanie Bucko and Cristina Livadary are fee-only financial planners based in Los Angeles, California. Stephanie is the Chief Investment Officer and Cristina is the Chief Executive Officer at Mana Financial Life Design (FLD). Mana FLD provides comprehensive financial planning and investment management services to help clients grow and protect their wealth throughout life’s journey. Mana FLD specializes in advising ambitious professionals who seek financial knowledge and want to implement creative budgeting, savings, proactive planning and powerful investment strategies. As fee-only fiduciaries and independent financial advisors, Stephanie and Cristina never receive commission of any kind. Stephanie and Cristina are legally bound by their certifications to provide unbiased and trustworthy financial advice.